Hormones, ADHD & Perimenopause: What No One Tells You

This post is for every woman trying to understand her body and brain again.
It’s informed, it’s personal, and it’s meant to wake you up to how deeply connected hormones, ADHD, fertility and mental health really are.

And when I say women, I mean every person experiencing hormonal shifts, including trans women and non-binary folks on estrogen therapy. You deserve to be seen, supported and cared for through this too.
You cannot have women’s empowerment without including all women.

When My Body Started Talking

Last week I dropped an episode about being neurodivergent while voting. It was powerful and necessary, but the truth is that behind the mic, my body was breaking down.

I was exhausted, foggy, emotional, and dealing with pain I couldn’t explain. My workouts were making me worse, not better. I felt fragile and disconnected from myself.

After a long stretch of testing, I found out my estrogen and progesterone had plummeted. Suddenly, everything made sense.

My body had been whispering for years before it started screaming. And like so many women, I ignored it because we’re taught to push through, to be grateful, to keep showing up no matter what.

A System Built For Someone Else

Our world is structured around a 24-hour hormonal cycle that fits the average male body. Testosterone peaks in the morning, drops at night, and resets every day.

Women operate on a 28-day rhythm that moves through creation, release, rest, and renewal.
Some weeks we are magnetic. Other weeks we are meant to slow down and reflect.

But we’ve been told to perform as if our bodies don’t even exist. To keep producing, parenting, and performing on a schedule that was never designed for us.

The problem isn’t that our hormones fail us. It’s that society never learned to honor them.

Perimenopause 101

Perimenopause is the long transition before menopause when hormones start to fluctuate and your cycles change. It can last anywhere from 4 to 10 years.

When estrogen drops, it feels like someone dimmed the lights inside your body. Brain fog, fatigue, mood swings, dry skin, hair thinning, and zero libido.

For women with ADHD, the drop in estrogen hits harder because estrogen supports dopamine, which fuels focus, motivation, and emotional regulation. When estrogen falls, dopamine falls.

That’s why ADHD symptoms can feel louder and harder to manage. It’s not in your head. It’s chemistry.

Low progesterone has its own story too. It’s the hormone that calms your nervous system and helps you sleep. When it drops, you can feel wired but exhausted. You wake up at 3 a.m. with a racing mind. You feel tender, bloated, and anxious. It’s also one of the most overlooked causes of early miscarriages.

When both estrogen and progesterone are low, it’s like driving a car with no gas and no brakes. You’re drained and overstimulated at the same time.

Why ADHD Feels Different Now

Estrogen doesn’t just regulate reproduction. It literally affects how your brain processes dopamine. So when it drops, you lose access to the very neurotransmitter that keeps you motivated, focused, and emotionally steady.

If your ADHD meds suddenly stop working, if caffeine doesn’t touch your fatigue, or if your focus evaporates no matter what you do, it might be your hormones, not your willpower.

Research is showing that hormone replacement therapy, when started early, can support memory, mood, bone density, and even protect your brain against cognitive decline.

Fertility, Hormones, and Choice

When my doctor prescribed continuous hormone therapy, she didn’t mention that it could suppress ovulation.

I didn’t want to shut that door completely, so I started researching cyclical hormone therapy.

If you take estrogen from the first day after your period until ovulation, then add progesterone until your next period, you’re following your body’s natural rhythm. That supports hormonal balance without fully stopping ovulation.

Continuous therapy can reduce ovulation but doesn’t guarantee infertility. Hormone replacement therapy isn’t contraception.

For me, the cyclical approach felt right. I wanted to support my hormones while still leaving room for possibility.

You Have To Advocate For Yourself

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: no one will notice your symptoms the way you can. You have to advocate for yourself, even when you’re tired.

Track your cycle, your sleep, your focus, your mood, your energy. Bring data to your doctor. Say:
“My ADHD meds aren’t working the same. I feel foggy, emotional, and exhausted. It feels hormonal.”

Ask for a full hormone panel. Estradiol, progesterone, testosterone, thyroid, cortisol, inflammation markers. Ask for MTHFR testing if you can. And if your doctor refuses, find one who will listen.

If you can’t afford testing right now, start tracking what you can. Your patterns hold powerful clues.

You are not crazy. You are not lazy. You might just be in the middle of the great transition.

You’re Recalibrating, Not Declining

Perimenopause is not the end of your brilliance. It’s the next level of it.

Your body is rewriting its code. Once you understand the chemistry behind it, you can work with your body instead of fighting it. You can rebuild energy, stabilize your mood, and find your focus again.

When we normalize this conversation, we stop blaming ourselves for biology.

You deserve energy, clarity, libido, and joy.
You deserve a doctor who listens.
You deserve to feel like yourself again.

Walk and Tawk Wednesdays

I’ll be honest, this is a lot to go through alone. Even if you have a loving partner, they can’t fully understand what it feels like inside your body.

That’s why I started Walk and Tawk Wednesdays.
A space for women like us to move, breathe, and process life together in real time.

It’s gentle accountability for women navigating ADHD, perimenopause, leadership, and the constant recalibration of midlife.

You don’t have to go through this part of your evolution in the dark.
You can do it surrounded by women who see you, hold you, and understand what this phase is all about.

👉 Join Walk and Tawk Wednesdays
https://www.xxxkatebailey.com/WalkandTawk 

We share wisdom, laughter, and support.
And everything gets easier from there.

Listen to the full episode
🎧 Hormones, ADHD and Perimenopause: What No One Tells You
Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube

Connect with Kate:
Instagram + Facebook @playbigqueen
🤍 Learn more → xxxkatebailey.com

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